Getty Images
When I first heard Leonard Cohen I thought his music was drone-ey and dull. I filed him under “Whiny, white boy” and thought no more about him.
Then I married a man who knows everything there is to know about all kinds of music. He taught me to like Country Music and Phillip Glass and world music and he tried with Leonard Cohen as well. I admitted that some of the lyrics were interesting but, I knew in my heart, that you’d never catch me sitting down to listen to a whole evening of him droning on.
A few years ago while I was racking my brains to think of a Christmas present for my husband, I saw an ad for a forthcoming Leonard Cohen Concert. Perfect. I bought two tickets and resigned myself to an evening of drone-ey, whiny, white-boy music.
The audience was at an all a-twitter with can’t-wait excitement. We took our seats. The lights went down, the band started and Leonard Cohen came out on the stage. He was wearing a coat and a hat. He gives great coat, I thought, and the hat, well the hat, at a rakish angle, gave him Sinatra smooth vibe. He spoke to us in that baas rumble and I knew, right there and then he was talking directly to me. This man is sexy.
I don’t remember all the songs he sang but the words were electrifying and the music sublime. By the time the interval came round, me and the man from Cavan who happened to be sitting beside me, were bawling our heads off, clutching one another’s arms and telling one another that Leonard Cohen was a GENIUS! Meanwhile my husband observed with a satisfied grin. I was a convert.
Just a day or two ago, as I watched a documentary about Cohen’s life, I learned that he was living on Hydra at the same time as I was travelling the Greek Islands. I had turned up my nose at Hydra because it was overrun with artistic types and tourists. I thought myself so superior, opting to visit only those islands that were still “genuine”.
Had I not been such a fearful travel snob I might have met Leonard Cohen. I might have fallen I love with him. I might have been Marianne.
IRONING THE WRINKLES
The hard work is done now. You have the satisfied glow of knowing your writing is as perfect as it can be. You type those magnificent words,
THE END
You print out your manuscript. You’re so thrilled with yourself, you decide to read through it one more time and revel in your own brilliance. Horror of horrors! All kinds of things are wrong!
At least that’s how it seems.
- Take a deep breath.
- Relax.
Honestly, it’s not as bad as it seems. It’s just a number of minor glitches, infelicities or typos that, combined with the fright you’ve given yourself, makes you think the whole thing is a disaster.
Once you’ve got over yourself and cooled down re-read.
Read your work ALOUD.
Reading out loud is the severest tests you can give your writing. It helps you identify those tiny mistakes that, through familiarity, you might otherwise miss. Watch out for and mark:
- Misspellings
- Awkward sentences
- Poor punctuation
- Over-long sentences and paragraphs.
- Sentence rhythm and pattern.
- Pay attention to even your slightest doubt because, even very minor mistakes, can make it hard for the reader to grasp your true meaning
- Make the necessary corrections
- Use the spelling and grammar check
RULE OF THUMB:
Any sentence that you find difficult to read aloud, probably needs some adjustment.
Ahhhhh… so is this really the end?
Well maybe… but then you hand it over to an editor…
More about that anon.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
DIALOGUE
ALICE … peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice, “without pictures or conversations?”
Alice was right. Conversations make reading interesting…. if they’re well written.
But the words that every editor dreads are:
“I’m very good at dialogue”
It usually means that I’m good at replicating normal conversation. Unfortunately, most normal conversation, when you write it down, is boring, boring, boring. It’s natural. It’s accurate but it’s not dialogue. And, believe it or not, many very good novelists write the direst of dialogue.
Good dialogue reads like it’s natural but it is in fact, highly constructed.
ASK:
What is it’s function?
Like everything else, dialogue has to serve your story. It must give relevant information, advance the action or develop character. It lightens your prose and can be an efficient way to reveal information that might otherwise need long explanation.
Once you know what the function of your dialogue is, you are half way to writing it well.
HERE’S HOW TO DO IT
Write it as it comes to you.
Read it aloud.
Cut everything irrelevant.
Read it aloud again.
Cut again..
Leave it, at least, overnight.
Read it aloud again.
Cut again… until you’re satisfied that it’s performing the function you want it to perform but still sounds like real people talking.
Phrases such as:”well…”, “the thing is…”, “by the way…”, “like…” “you see…” etc. are common in ordinary conversation. In dialogue they’re just padding. As a general rule, cut them out. If you do use them, they need to have a very specific purpose i.e. to indicate mood, hesitation, lying, give the speaker thinking time, be typical of the character’s speech patterns etc.
Even padding must serve a purpose.
You will be surprised at how much you can convey in just a few words!
RHYTHM AND LENGTH
At this point in the editing it helps to read each sentence OUT LOUD. Silent reading allows you to read what you THINK you wrote. Saying it our loud helps you
- Read what you actually wrote
- Identify mistakes, gramatical, repititions, typos etc.
- Identify unnecessary words, phrases and information
- Hear the rhythm.
- Judge the length.
- Read your revisions OUT LOUD.
RHYTHM
Why rhythm? Isn’t that just for poetry?
Well no… the rhythm and length of a sentence or paragraph should serve the whole. If you watch a quiz show where they give a choice of answers, the correct answer is, almost always, the one that scans best. The one that has a rhythm, the one that trips easily off the tongue! Rhythm contains information. It can help create the idea of speed, anticipation, fear, laziness etc.etc.etc. And it is fun to play with while discovering the rhythm that best suits your purpose. So look for a rhythm that:
- Is pleasing to your ear
- Reflects the nature of the character you’re describing
- Reflects the speech patterns of the character
- Reflects the scene you are describing
- Reflects the passage of time.
This may seem pernickity but, when your writing has the right rhythm, it conveys more information and is easier to read.
http://www.upload.wikimedia.org
LENGTH
Your sentence can be any length you like. I once read a sentence by Marguerite Yourcenar (Memoirs of Hadrian) which went on for an entire page. But I never once got confused. Not many of us could carry that one off! So check your sentences to see if the length promotes clarity.
RULES OF THUMB:
- One thought per sentence.
- An average of twenty – thirty words per sentence.
- Length of sentence can to reflect what you describe. e.g short suggests excitement, fear, anticipation, drama. Long suggest passage of time, calm, relaxation, boredom etc.
The same principles apply to paragraph length.
- One idea per paragraph.
- No more than six to eight sentences per paragraph.
Remember – These are only rules of thumb. You must be the final judge.
THE BORING STUFF
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
GRAMMAR
You can get away with bad grammar when you’re talking face to face. That’s because your listener has other clues to what you are saying.
http://www.advancedsourcecode.com/eyesexpression.asp
There’s your tone of voice, your intonation, your facial expression, how you use your hands, how you sit…
http://www.media2.picsearch.com
A comment made in the right tone of voice, with the right facial expression, in the right company can be hilarious but, the same comment, written down, can seem downright insulting. In order for your meaning to come across as you intended, you need to change how you write that comment.
PUNCTUATION
When you write all you have is black marks on a white page. And those marks can be seriously misunderstood. So, as well as choosing the most accurate words and getting your grammar correct, you need to punctuate accurately.
When we speak we give meaning to our words with emphasis, intonation and pauses. Speakers who lack that auditory punctuation sound boring and difficult to follow. When you depend on the bare words on the blank page punctuation becomes even more crucial.
TRY THIS:
Say this sentence out loud: WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE?
Repeat it several times. Each time you repeat it, change your tone and put the emphasis on a different word. See how many different meanings you can get from that sentence.
How could you convey all of those meanings in writing?.
Punctuation…. that’s how…and even then some meanings can only be conveyed by describing the situation in which they are used.
Mostly you just need commas and fullstops. Commas are for where you would naturally pause in speaking. This is just one of the reasons it is useful to read what you write out loud. Full stops are for when the thought is complete
THE STASI INVESTIGATION – WORDS
Words… this is what writers are all about… the magic of words. How they can create characters, landscapes, countries, fantasy worlds, actions, thrills, laughter, ideas. Words can entertain, expand minds, challenge preconceptions. The sword can conquer,dominate and enslave but the word can change minds and liberate souls.
http://www.itsallrandommostly.com
O.K… that’s me waxing lyrical….
However…. as writers, we need to pay close attention to every single word that we use to be sure that that it serves the whole.
At the start of each draft you asked “What is it about?” and “What is it really about?” By now you know the answers. It is time to ensure that every word you have put on the page is guiding in that direction.
NOUNS
ASK:
- Is that that noun the correct one to use? Is it right for the context?
E.G. If the character speaking is an ordinary joe he might use the word ” lughole”. If he were a journalist he might write “ear canal”. If he were a doctor he might say “meatus”. If the word you have used is not right for the context, check your Thesaurus for a more accurate one.
ASK:
- Could that noun plant a subtle clue to later events?
It is always a pleasure for the reader to come across a passage in a story where something clicks and they think “Ah yes” Even though they’re not sure why they thought it.
E.G. If you’d used the word “lughole” earlier, the reader will think “ah yes” when the character turns out to be a washed up boxer.
ADJECTIVES
http://www.instantdisplay.co.uk
Never trust an adjective. They are sneaky devils and they can seriously weaken your writing!
ASK:
- Is that adjective necessary?
Rule of thumb for using adjectives.
- Read the sentence aloud with the adjective.
- Read it aloud without the adjective
- Which is stronger?
- Is there a more accurate noun, which would make the adjective unnecessary?
E.g. “The big, black dog leaped for his throat.” OR “The Doberman leaped for his throat,”
If you do need an adjective make sure it is one that will help guide your reader towards the outcome you want. Use your Thesaurus.
ADVERBS
http://www.instantdisplay.co.uk
Don’t trust them either. They are in league with the adjectives lurking about ready to undermine your writing. Instead, try to find a more accurate verb. For example instead of “He shouted loudly at the television” you could try “ He roared at the television.”
However when you find the perfect adjective or adverb it is a delight. Use your Thesaurus.
WARNING
When you find the word in your Thesaurus that sounds right, check its precise meaning in the dictionary. It is easy to choose a word that sounds perfect but doesn’t mean quite what you want!
THE STASI INVESTIGATION CONTINUED
This part is like combing knots out of long hair. You comb through the first bit and untangle the knots, then you go a little higher and so on till the hair is shiny and smooth. Start with the first paragraph.
PARAGRAPH
thumbs.dreamtime.com
ASK:
- What is the function of this paragraph? Does it introduce? Inform? Develop? Allow space for the passage of time? Create essential breathing space? Link? Entertain? Resolve? Every paragraph should be essential to the whole.
- Would the piece work as well without it? Writers are always tempted to hang on to passages they’re pleased with. BUT, if they are not essential they will clog up your text. Removing them makes your writing more vital for the reader. Read the page ALOUD with the paragraph, then read it ALOUD without. Which works best? Still in doubt? Put it in your LEFTOVERS file, you may find a use for it later..
emeraldcoasttours.com
- Are the sentences in this paragraph in the most effective order? When you read this paragraph, is there something unsatisfactory you can’t quite put your finger on? This may be because a misplaced sentence is causing a tiny disturbance in logic . Check the sequence of thought and move the sentence to the appropriate place.
SENTENCES.
ASK:
- What is the function of this sentence? Every sentence must work to inform, explain, describe, develop the argument, develop the plot, develop the character, set a scene, create an atmosphere etc.
- Would the paragraph work just as well without it? If in doubt, check that it is in the right place (see above). Read the paragraph aloud with the sentence, then read it ALOUD without the sentence. Which works best? If in doubt move the sentence to LEFTOVERS file.
- Is there any hint of cliché? If the answer is yes, re phrase.
- Are there any unnecessary words? We all use words and phrases when speaking to bridge a conversational gap or give us thinking time. (E.g. Well… very… absolutely… the thing about it is…. as a matter of fact…. Most people consider… etc. etc. etc.) And these words and phrases often slip into our writing. Cut them out.
- Is there a better way to express this idea? Some sentences will be accurate but awkward. See if you can find a more elegant/ interesting/accurate way to express it.
TRUST YOUR IMAGINATION.
TRUST YOUR INTUITION.
TRUST YOUR GUT.
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO ANY PART OF YOUR WRITING THAT CAUSES EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SENSE OF UNEASE
THE STASI INVESTIGATION
At last you have got to the stage that most people would think of as the ‘real writing’. This is when you make it look as though the writing was easy, like the words just flowed out of you. This is where you have fun with the polishing, honing, refining, tightening and shaping. But, to do that you have to become like the Stasi.
Remember the Stasi? The East German Secret Police who investigated citizens in minute detail. Now you have to investigate your writing like the most officious Stasi officer ever. You need to question every word, every phrase, every sentence and every paragraph to make sure that each part is doing the job you want it to do.
.
YOUR AIM NOW IS TO MAKE YOUR WRITING AS THRILLINGLY BEAUTIFUL AS THAT GOLDEN BUBBLE YOU IMAGINED AT THE START.
thebrightside-jenn.blogspot.com
HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
- Print out the second draft
- Ask yourself: “What is it about?”
- Write down your answer
- Ask yourself:“What is it really about?”
- Write down your answer – by now it will be clearer to you.
READ YOUR SECOND DRAFT
As you read:
- Mark everything that you think needs adjusting.
- Make a note of any improvements that come to mind but avoid spending too much trying to decide what they should be. Trust that your intuition will give you the answers by the time you get to the re-writing.
MARK THE FOLLOWING
- Mistakes in grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation
- Things that need further clarification
- Things that need cutting back
- Things that need to expand
- Information that is missing or misplaced.
- Sections where the information needs to be reorganised
- Mark anything you have even the faintest question/unease/query about
TAKE A BREAK AND…
SHIFTING THE FURNITURE- SECOND DRAFT
Now you are ready to start re-writing. Don’t worry about getting every detail right. Focus on:
- getting the shape right
- organising your information more satisfactorily
- becoming clearer about the various elements
- be prepared to cut huge swathes ….eeeeek….scary….. see below.
Take a deep breath and plunge right in.
- Follow the notes you have already made ( See Golden Bubble 11)
- When in doubt about whether a passage should stay or go, create a LEFTOVERS file and move it to there.
- When you have finished for the day review the leftovers. Is there anything there you still need?
- As you work your way through, examine the clichés. What precisely do you want to convey? E.G. His eyes were as blue as the sky. Why precisely are his eyes important? What do they tell you about the character? When you know that, you’ll find it easier to find a fresh way to write it.
careersblog.warwick.ac.uk
- Examine any jargon. Sometimes a specialised word is appropriate. But jargon is often used to impress, confuse or cover a lack of knowledge. Used like this it will muddy your meaning, deaden your writing and irritate your readers.
- Examine the passages where you leapt on your hobbyhorse, sermonised or harangued the nation. Ask : How much of this is essential? Relevant? Could you convey the ideas more effectively through the actions of the characters?
- Examine the passages of pernickety detail. Too much detail can confuse the point you want to convey. Ask : Which detail is the most telling? Which is essential?
- Remove repetitions.
- Examine the transitions from the end of one section to the next. You will start to see how they can be bridged. If you are still unclear leave it till the next draft.
- If you need to research something, focus on the essentials. Many of the details in your story will change so, avoid days researching something that you may cut later on!
THE BIG FEAR OF DRAFT TWO.
I’ll cut so much that there will be nothing left!
Do not fear. As you rewrite, many more ideas will come to mind. You’ll find better ways to express them. New scenes will suggest themselves, old scenes will expand. There will be plenty left.
You may hit into another wall again. But you know what to do about that. Go out. Walk the dog etc. ( See. Golden Bubble -9)
When you’ve finished Draft 2. you are beginning to see how your work is edging closer to that Golden Bubble. Parts may not be smooth as you’d like, there may be gaps and problems you still haven’t solved but the process is not over yet.
creativethinking.net
IMPORTANT
Trust your intuition, trust your imagination They will give you the answers.
http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
SHIFTING THE FURNITURE
t
Draft One done!!! Whew!!! Draft One is all about gathering materials. About giving your imagination full rein. About trusting your intuition. About discovering characters. About sensing the shape of your story.
Draft Two is about applying your craft . Using your critical powers to examine what needs improving. You’re thinking…
Eeeeeeeeeek…. there’s so much to do!!!!
But the great joy of applying your craft is that, as you tidy, it clarifies your ideas even further PLUS it feeds your imagination as well.
But before you go galloping off…..WARNING…
Your first draft will need serious remodelling and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. So here are some things to do that will help.
- Print out your manuscript – it is easier (I think) to see problems in hard copy and it is easier to make corrections and write directions.
- Ask yourself “What is it about?”and “What is it really about?” Write the answers, they will help you to clarify your mind. The clearer you are the better you will write.
- Read your manuscript OUT LOUD. When you read silently you miss things because you read what you intended rather than what you actually wrote. Reading out loud is more efficient for picking up problems.
READING YOUR FIRST DRAFT
You already know that your first draft is going to be rough, so fine, this is not the time for a critical analysis. This is the time for moving the furniture and sweeping up the debris. As you read thorough your first draft mark the following:
- Information that needs to be moved. Make a note of where you think it should go.
- Sections that need further information/ expansion/development.
- Sections that need cutting down / out.
- Confusions, gaps, jumps in logic.
- Sections that need further research.
- Anything else that strikes you as relevant.
As you make these notes little enlightenments will come; a better name ; a vivid example; an interesting scene etc. Jot those down .
- Leave it overnight.
- Get ready to start your Second Draft.
