WHY WOMEN DON’T REPORT ABUSE

Women come in to adulthood knowing the following,

• Boys stick together
• Boys never rat on each other.
• They wear t-shirts like this

So…. when someone makes a lurch for her body parts, when someone at the photocopier whispers obscenities in her ear, why does she not complain?   After all, she’s been moaning on about equality for long enough.

Here’s why.   She fears that,

1. She won’t be believed.
2. She’ll be accused of making it up
3. She’ll be told that she was “asking for it”
4. She’ll lose her job
5. She’ll lose a job opportunity
6. She’ll be barred from promotion
7. She’ll be labelled “trouble”, “hysterical” “mad cow”
8. This reputation will follow her for the rest of her life
9. She’ll be labelled “bitch” “frigid” “cock tease” etc….. fill the rest in yourselves
10. The office Lotharios will see her as a challenge to “melt the iceberg”

We’ve all been brainwashed with the story of Eve and the apple… it was all her fault!  That Adam took no responsibility for his action is neither here nor there.

As Daughters of Eve, they tell us, we, by our very nature, provoke sexual offences.  Therefore, it’s up to us to prevent them.   So a woman does not report a sexual offence because

11. She feels that, somehow, it must be her fault

12. She is ashamed that it has happened

If she gets as far as talking to another woman she gets this advice

• Let it go
• You’ll only give yourself more trouble
• Pay no attention
• Men are like that
• Get used to it.
• Ignore them
• Don’t rock the boat.
• Find a way to deal with it.

So…… we find a way to deal with it… eventually.

Speaking up takes maturity, self-confidence and courage.   

Which of us have that in our youth?