SKINNY JEANS – FASHION STATEMENT ?

Who invented skinny jeans?

Why?

I was on holiday in Spain recently where tourists from all arts and parts congregated to worship the Spetember sun.   One of the great joys of Spain, is sitting under a parasol,  in a sun-stunned Plaza Mayor, sipping something delicious and watching the world go by.   And, I happened to notice, an awful lot of  of the world was wearing skinny jeans.

I found myself looking and thinking, almost sub-consciously,

She shouldn’t be wearing them

Did she look in the mirror?

She should not be let out looking like that.

And then I caught myself and felt guilty for judging women like that.   But my eye a kept being drawn to the skinny-jeaned people.   Is it just that you have to be thin?  A group of girls, slender and almond-eyed gathered to giggle at something on a mobile.. yeah, skinny jeans.   Their legs looked misshapen and twisted.

Maybe you have to be skinny and tall.   Two Nordic blondes, gorgeous enough to be models pranced by in their white skinny jeans, tossing their hair while checking a menu… knock-kneed.   And so it went on and on Bandy-legs, Thunder-thighs, Arse-like-the-back-of-a-bus, Pigeon-toe and more Muffin-tops than Carlo’s Bakery.

Why?

I’ve Googled  and Googled and learned that women wear skinny jeans because:

Confidence.   A newspaper said that, a scientist said that, research said that, women who wear skinny jeans are more confident than others. 

Really?   REALLY?   I need more evidence.

Women say they feel confident wearing them.

Okay, I’ll give you that.

Women believe they make them look thinner.

Wrong!

Well…if you’re skinny and  want to look scrawny… feel free.   If you’re normal, they hide the good bits and distort the rest if like me you’re a big girl… don’t make me go there.

The thought of wearing skinny jeans makes me feel itchy all over.  I don’t believe you should have to wrestle your clothes to get dressed.   And if, like tights,they got twisted while pulling them up would I damage my spine?  Would they be like a tourniquet?   Would they stop my blood getting down to my feet?   Would I be able to move?  Would they give me cistitis?

But that’s me… I have to feel comfortable to feel confident.   I have to know that the style suits me… polo necks make me look like a tortoise,  bright patterns like an overweight maccaw and skinny jeans… well it doesn’t bear thinking…

Fashion is famed for it’s love of the waif-like, the androgynous, the models who look like beautiful boys.

Is the skinny-jean some fashionista’s practical joke ?  Is normal so threatening that they have to persuade us to wear stuff that makes us look bad?

Industry is famed for wanting to lower the costs of production.

Think of the miles of material saved by making jeans skinny.

Could this be a plot?