I’M A ZOMBIE -GET ME OUT OF HERE

Last night it was Spooksville. Holloween. Fireworks. Bonfires. Ghosts and ghouls, witches and tiny kids dressed as pirates and fairies.  And they start knocking on my door looking for sweets once it gets dark.  

So I like to give them a scare. Wooooooooooooooo!

I turn off all the lights and put candles and lanterns on the hall table. Beside them I place a  bowl of sweets.   I go upstairs and paint the top half of my face with good, thick, black face paint. I wrap my head and lower face in a dark blue silk shawl, fling on a full length silk dressing gown and gloves.   This has the treble advantage of not costing me anything, not being a Holloween cliche and looking really scary.  I even scare myself when I look in the mirror.  Now I’m ready for the ghoulies and ghosties who come Trick or Treating.

Our front door has glass panels so, when the door bell rings, I stick my head round the livingroom door.  The kids see me and start to get scared/excited. I come to the front door and put my face up to the glass.   They squeal.   I open the door and declare in a sepulchral voice that I eat witches/fairies/whatever-they’re-dressed-up-as, for breakfast.   They don’t know whether to laugh or be really scared.   Then I dish out the goodies.

Last night I got many reactions but here are my favourites.

1.  The group of four mothers with very small children who were the  first to arrive.   They were Polish.  The mothers responded like teens, jumped up and down and squealed with delight. The children were too bewildered to even hold out their swag bags for sweets because, it turned out, they didn’t speak English.    

2. The tiny child dressed as a ladybird who arrived with her Dad. “Are you a ladybird?” I asked. She burst into tears. “No” she howled, “I’m Emma.”

3. The laconic teen who did a double take when I first appeared but had recovered by the time I opened the door   “Cool Ghoul” she said.

4. And my favourite of all.  A boy about 10 or 11 stood at the door with his younger sister.   She was dressed as a witch, he was dressed as a zombie.  When I appeared they clutched one another and gave strangled squeals.  Then he recovered himself, took a deep breath and started repeating his mantra. “I’m a Zombie, I’m not afraid of anything. I’m a Zombie, I’m not afraid of anything. I’m a Zombie, I’m not afraid of anything.” And he kept it up while I dished out the sweets and all the way down the garden till he reached the safety of the street.  

I love it! Ilove it!